Here are three important traits of having a healthy relationship.
If you want to have a healthy relationship, there are more than three things that you can look for but one of these is to be transparent. I have a friend who is trying to overcome a big sin in his life. He is honest about when he falls but I am also honest with him about my sins and where I fall short. Instead of judging him, I listen to him, pray for him, and encourage him that sanctification is a lifelong process. The key to our relationship is that we are transparent with one another. A great relationship is one where you feel safe to tell someone your faults or when you sin. When I share the gospel, I am transparent about my past and my present struggle so that people won’t feel that it’s impossible for them to be saved. Transparency brings down the walls of separation, lets us confess our sins to one another and know that we are not alone in our struggle over sin.
Telling the Truth
Nothing shatters friendships or relationships like discovering you’ve been lied to. I would rather be hurt with the truth than comforted by a lie. Eventually, the truth will come out. I discovered a great way to keep me from bearing false witness. I made a covenant with myself that when I tell a lie I will go to that person and tell them to their face, “I lied to you. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” If you do that enough times, believe me, you’ll tend to tell the truth more often. Besides, lying is an offense to God. The next time I am tempted to lie, even if it’s an exaggeration, I think about my having to come back to that person and confess that I lied to them. That makes me much more accountable and so I tend to lie less.
Sharing the Load
The saying is so true; share a joy and it’s doubled, share a sorrow and its halved, but when we share responsibilities, we lighten the load. I like to do the dishes at home and I take out the trash, clean out the litter box…or anything else that needs to be done. I think of my wife and me as a team. When two carry a load, it’s a lot lighter. Besides, that’s fair. I want to do anything that I can do make her day or week go easier because she’s more than my wife, she’s my best friend. This goes with disciplining the children, helping them with homework or anything else that goes along with parenting.
If you want a healthy relationship, whether it’s in a marriage or a friendship, you’ll strengthen your relationship if you are honest and transparent, if you tell the truth, and if you share the load.
May God richly bless you,
Pastor Jack Wellman
Orig. image by Nina Matthews