4 Red Flags in Dating Relationships

4 Red Flags in Dating Relationships

Here are 4 red flags about dating relationships.  What ones would you include that I missed?

Treats Parents with Disrespect

Any man or any woman who treats their father or mother disrespectfully like talking to them harshly or with foul language is a huge red flag.  If a man mistreats his mother, speaks to her harshly, or tries to dominate her, then that man has no business marrying anyone.  The same goes for the woman and this includes not only the mother but the father as well.   The first commandment given to how humans are to relate to one other (the 5th Commandment)…the first horizontal one…is to honor your father and your mother.  If they break this commandment, you can be sure they’ll be breaking other ones too and imagine after you’ve married them, how they’d treat you!

Children and Pets

Children and pets are among the most vulnerable in our society so observe how someone you are dating treats children or how they treat their own pets, your pets or other people’s pets.  If this person is a potential father or mother of your children, try to find times where they might have to interact with children like at the park, the zoo, or some other place where children might be.  Observe how they treat them, how they react to them if inconvenienced, or how they talk about children and to children.  Do they talk to them with respect?  It doesn’t matter if they’re children; they deserve to be treated respectfully and with dignity too.  Anyone that doesn’t like children or pets is a red flag for sure as far as having a dating relationship with them.

Addiction Problems

If someone tends to drink a little too much, this is a huge red flag because if they drink and drive, they create a deadly potential. Imagine riding with someone who’s been drinking?  Does the person you are dating or thinking about dating have well-stocked alcohol supplies at home?  Can they go one night without alcohol?  Do you often smell alcohol on their breath even if you haven’t seen them drinking?  Have you ever seen them drunk?  Do they drink (even a little) and drive?  This could also apply to substance abuse like marijuana or other drugs.  If someone can’t go one day without alcohol or illegal substances then that is someone you should not even be dating.

Positively Negative

I know that sounds oxymoronic but if someone is absolutely or positively negative about things like life, work, people, and such other things then they could drag you down with them.  If they’ve been married before and talk negatively about their ex or about their parents or friends or others, this is not a good sign for sure.


If you are even considering dating, think about these warning flags.  Also, if this person wants to move in with you before you are even married, that is a huge red flag too.  If they don’t believe in sexual purity now, what makes you think that they’d be a loyal, faithful marriage partner after the marriage?  Pre-marital counseling is strongly advised and being unequally yoked with unbelievers is just asking for trouble.  I pray these 4 red flags in dating relationships help you or someone else you know.

May God richly bless you,

Pastor Jack Wellman

Image source: CC BY-SA Fey Ilya

Modifications: Text added

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