Here are four warning signs you are in a toxic marriage.
Communication is the key to a good marriage, but when there is little or no more communication, somethings seriously wrong. When I was dating my wife, I couldn’t stop talking to her about things, but even after we were married, we still talked about life in general; the kids, work, and life, however if we were to stop talking altogether, that’d be a serious problem. One couple I knew was sitting at the dinner table at a restaurant, but was on their smart phones and didn’t say a word to each other the whole time I was there. That’s a sign of a toxic marriage when no one communicates anymore.
Can’t do Anything Right
It seemed that I couldn’t do anything right for my big brother. He was always criticizing me, no matter what I did, but when we became adults, we became closer and the criticizing stopped. It seemed he only wanted me to do better and that’s why he criticized me, but that’s not the way to influence people. When it seems you can do anything right for your spouse anymore, it’s time to seek counsel, or at least have a talk with one another and find out what’s going on. Perhaps the criticizing spouse isn’t feeling well and they are taking it out on the one they love.
A Pattern of Lies
When trust has been broken between couples, it takes a very long time to restore it. When you begin to see repeated occurrences of lies, then something is obviously wrong. If you don’t have trust in a relationship, you have a broken relationship, and only repentance can restore it in time. To be proven faithful, we must be living in faithfulness, but it only takes a minute to ruin 20 years of trust.
It doesn’t take long before some of your spouse’s habits begin to annoy you, but we too have things that bring annoyances. If we can minimize those things that our spouse doesn’t like, then we can make it easier for them to live with us. Marriage takes work, but when no one puts in any work into a marriage, or if only one person is the giving one, even the little things can cause us to lose our temper. When someone doesn’t have any more consideration than to think only about themselves, you’re in a toxic marriage.
These are hard places for some spouses to be, and all they can do is to pray to God to help their spouse become who they were created to be. As for the spouse that’s hurting, all you can do is to give them what they don’t deserve, and that is your love, because Jesus died for us while we were still ungodly, wicked sinners who were His natural enemies (Rom 5:6-10).