Here are 5 things the Bible is clear about regarding sexual intimacy in marriage.
Keep it in the Marriage
The author of Hebrews writes, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Heb 13:4). We are free to enjoy our spouse because God wired us this way and created sex for us to enjoy. We have no need to be embarrassed before our spouse and before God in sexual intimacy with our wedded spouse.
Keep it to Yourself
When I hear men talking about their spouses and their intimate relationships with them, I try to change the subject. I told them I’m not comfortable talking about something that’s this private. I know a lot of men who use “locker room” language in describing their intimate relationships with their spouse or outside of marriage. I know my wife would be shocked…so I don’t go there. I say we keep these details to ourselves and not even share it with our parents or closest friends.
Dangers of Lust
The heart is deceitfully wicked and we can’t even know our own hearts (Jer 17:9), so we must guard our heart by keeping our “eye-gate” pure and undefiled. Jesus warned “that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt 5:28). Job understood about this “eye-gate,” which is why he said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin” (Job 31:1)? That’s his solution. Just look away when you begin to be tempted to lust after someone else.
Sinning against One’s Body
Anyone that has sex outside of their own marriage or before they are married, is really sinning against their own body. The Apostle Paul wrote us to “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1st Cor 6:18). So you can either look the other way when you’re tempted to lust in your heart or run away from the temptation as fast as you can.
Becoming One Flesh
When God joins husband and wife together, they become one flesh (Gen 2:24) and there is no room for a third party. To become as one flesh means they become one unit or one family and the two become one in the sense that they are joined to one another and they must cling to one another and not touch another.
I plead with every Christian out there to refrain from sex before they are married and sex outside of their own marriage because Paul says, “do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality” (1st Cor 6:9). Those who continue in this sin without repentance “will not inherit the kingdom of God” (1st Cor 6:10).