5 Questions to Ask Before Considering Divorce

5 Questions To Ask Before Considering Divorce

Here are five questions you should ask before you even think about getting a divorce.

Do I have Biblical Grounds?

The first thing you need to ask yourself if you are a Christian considering divorce is whether you have biblical grounds for divorce. Jesus was quite clear on this teaching, so this is a vital question to ask. Divorce is allowable only under certain circumstances. If your spouse cheated on you, did they confess it to you or did they get caught? Have they asked for forgiveness? Is it ongoing adultery and there is no sign of remorse or repentance?

How Will This Affect the Children?

What will this teach your children about marriage? Will they think when problems arise in their marriage, as they inevitably will, that divorce is an easy out, that it’s acceptable, and that the solution to relationship problems is to just walk away and not work on them? What will this do to the finances of your family? Are you ready to be a single parent? The children are typically the innocent victims of divorce, and no matter what they say, they will be hurt by it.

Have You Sought Marital Counseling?

Has there been an honest, concerted effort to seek godly counsel together, if the other spouse would go? Does the other spouse also want a divorce? Have you tried going on a second honeymoon and remembering what first brought you together? Make every effort to save your marriage, even if you have to seek counseling yourself.

Have You Done Everything in Your Power to Save This Marriage?

One thing you can control is to seek counseling but also to pray about your marriage. Paul once wrote about living with an unsaved spouse: “For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife” (1 Cor. 7:16)? If we loved our mates as Christ loves the church, then this would go a long way in reconciling one to the other.

Have You Thought of Your Own Role in the Marital Difficulties?

There are times when I have to take responsibility for my own actions when things don’t go well around the home. Instead of quickly pointing fingers, I ask myself these questions: How have my actions contributed to the tension in this marriage? How has my inaction contributed to our difficulties? A warning sign is “you do 50% of this and only then will I do the other 50%.” I cannot control my spouse’s actions and attitude, but I can control my own.


Do you want a better life or just a better marriage? Do you have unreasonable expectations? Are you loving your spouse unconditionally, meaning is your love for your spouse conditioned upon their behavior? I have to remember that God loves us when we don’t deserve it. Marriage takes a lot of work. It’s not how much you get out of one but how much you put into one.

May God richly bless you,

Pastor Jack Wellman

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