Here are five ways to help avoid affairs in your marriage.
Make It a Three-Fold Cord
If a Christian husband and wife desire to have an affair-proof marriage, then they must include God in it. Solomon wrote, “Though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Two are strong; but with God, the two make a threefold cord, which is difficult to break. There are no guarantees I can give you for an affair-proof marriage, but putting God first comes very close to it.
What does it feel like when you do something for someone day after day and they never say “thank you”? Now imagine how many things our spouse has done for us and the family that we’ve taken for granted and failed to show our appreciation. “Thank you” is such an encouraging thing to say. It can pay it forward for your spouse for the rest of their day. They think, “Hey, he/she noticed!”
Love in Action
Love is not just saying “I love you”; it is showing you love them. Love is a verb. It is action-oriented. It’s not just a feeling; it’s expressed by our actions. God displayed His great love for us by Jesus dying on the cross. He taught His disciples dozens of times about love. But one lesson is all they (and we) need: the cross. Love is self-sacrificing, and that love can strengthen any marriage.
Why not revisit the place you and your spouse first dated or met. There is a nearby park where my wife and I met for picnics while we were dating. Those were some of the most precious moments of our lives. Why not rekindle that flame by stirring up those first loving memories and schedule a regular date night.
When you are communicating with one another, there are fewer blowups. Here’s what I mean. Years ago I knew a man in our church who rarely said much of anything, but his wife took it as his disapproval. One day his wife finally exploded in anger and started crying, telling him that he didn’t love her. She had been trying to share some of her problems, but her husband wasn’t reacting to it. It was as if his silence was apathy; at least that’s what she thought. She thought he didn’t even care. It turns out the man was raised in a home where his dad rarely said anything at all. By this man’s wife breaking down in tears, it actually turned out for their good because now they schedule a time where they can both talk and the other would just listen.
In reality, no marriage is affair-proof. But we can lessen the chances of adultery occurring if we make God the highest priority in our lives, if we show appreciation to our spouses, if we show our love in action, if we keep on dating, and if we keep the lines of communication open. A lot of mix-up over “he said but she heard” or “she said but he heard” can be avoided.
May God richly bless you,
Pastor Jack Wellman
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