5 Ways To Overcome Shyness

Here are five ways you can overcome shyness.

Join a Club or Group

There are more places that have groups or clubs than you can even imagine, so try finding a group or club that meets that have the same interests as you do. There is an archery group that meets in the country just north of our small town, and so if you like archery, it’s a great place to meet other people that like the things that you do, and you can get out of that shell and into the world of relationships.

Ask yourself Why?

If you’re painfully shy, ask yourself why? Is it a matter of how you feel about yourself? The Bible teaches “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal 3:28), and all who are in Christ are equal before God. The foot of the cross is level ground. We’re told to not think too highly of ourselves, but we can’t think to lowly of our selves either.

Focus on Others

When you meet someone or have already met them, try asking them about how things are going, like ask about their work or how their family is doing. When you focus them, you can draw things out they might not share with anyone else, but this also makes them feel more valued. When you ask about them, they might start asking about you. That outward focus can break down the walls of separation and open up conversations to a whole new level.

Memorize some Icebreakers

There are some things that can more easily start a conversation than others. The weather is not usually great, but it’s a start. Think of those things that you hear other people talk about in their conversations (but of course, only wholesome things); listen to what other people talk in about. I don’t mean eavesdrop but I mean listen how co-workers or friends talk to one another. What are they talking about? How do they begin their conversation? Find some icebreakers that might help start a conversation and then memorize a few of them to keep the conversation going.

Show yourself Friendly

There is a lot to be said about a smile. Smiles are contagious. They seem to spread when you see them. The same thing happens when someone yawns. It’s almost like we humans can’t help it, so why not smile…a lot. Show yourself to be friendly. Say, “Hello, how are you?” and see what happens. Sometimes just giving the appearance of being a friendly person can make people more willing to talk to you. To find a friend, be a friend.


Being shy is a hard obstacle for some people to overcome, but consider how much a shy person is missing in the world; festive gatherings, holiday parties, sporting events, wedding receptions, social or sports clubs, and lots and lots of missed relationships. If you’re shy, I hope these help you. Go and try these today, or the next chance you get, to see what happens.

May God richly bless you,

Pastor Jack Wellman

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