Wives, just like husbands, have many needs, but what are three of the greatest needs that a wife has?
I believe that we all need love and to give love, but love might be the greatest need of all for her, next to her relationship with Christ. Telling your wife verbally that you love her is important, but showing it by your actions is more important. Love is not just in word but in deed, as the Apostle John wrote, “… let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18). Love is a verb more than a feeling. Love is proactive. Jesus didn’t depend on His feelings to make Him go to the cross. He did it because He knew it was our only way to be saved. Show your wife you love her by sending her a card in the mail, by bringing her flowers, taking her out to dinner, scheduling a “bed and breakfast” weekend, taking out the trash, or whatever else you see that you can do to help her and show your love for her. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25).
I am so guilty of this. My wife says something and my body language acknowledges it, but it doesn’t sink in. Shame on me. Instead of burying myself in thought, the paper, or even the Bible, I need to look my wife straight in the eyes and give her my full attention. She might not want me to solve whatever she is talking about, but she does want me to listen. It is so disrespectful when someone says something to you and you don’t even acknowledge what they said by words or by nodding your head. Men, are you really listening to your wife? Could you repeat the last sentence she said? Drop whatever it is you had going on, including the remote if necessary, and stop, look, and listen. She deserves your attention, don’t you think?
Surely, we husbands need to remain faithful to our wives. That is clearly commanded in Scripture. By remaining faithful to her, I mean not only avoiding adultery and pornography but avoiding commenting about other husband’s wives or looking at other women with lust. Men can so easily commit adultery of the heart. It’s like we’re hardwired that way, but we are supposed to be new creations in Christ, as Paul wrote, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Cor. 5:17). When we are born again, we are given a new nature, as Ezekiel wrote, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you” (Ezek. 36:26a), and as such, we were “buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life” (Rom. 6:4).
Obviously, there are a lot more than three things a wife needs that are not listed here, but surely we recognize that we need to love our wives as Christ loved the church. That means a life-sacrificing life of serving her. We need to give her our full attention when she is talking, and we need to be ever faithful to our bride, for she is a gift of God. We should treat her as such.
May God richly bless you,
Pastor Jack Wellman
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